A Boomer’s Guide to Online Dating

Nearly half of all single baby boomers are dating, and many of them are swelling the profiles of online matchmaking websites with names like SilverSingles, SeniorPassions and dating.aarp.org.

Match.com, one of the largest dating sites for people of all ages, says its baby boomer clientele has grown 90 percent in five years, with a quarter of its 15 million users ages 50 to 65.

“Older people love a good romance as much as 20-somethings, and many of us still get just as love-drunk as we did when we wore size 32 Levis with no Expanda-Waist,” says Charles W. Massie, a baby boomer who wrote about his online dating experience in a new novel, “Stains on the Gavel” (www.starshowpublications.com).

“But you’ve really got to be careful, whether you’re a woman or a man. A lot of women my age complain the men they meet haven’t changed at all in 50 years – they want to skip the coffee and head straight for the bedroom. My experience was even worse!”

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A Boomer’s Guide to Online Dating

Book CoverVeteran Shares Experience-Based Tips to Avoid Scams – and Worse

Nearly half of all single baby boomers are dating, and many of them are swelling the profiles of online matchmaking websites with names like SilverSingles, SeniorPassions and dating.aarp.org.

Match.com, one of the largest dating sites for people of all ages, says its baby boomer clientele has grown 90 percent in five years, with a quarter of its 15 million users ages 50 to 65.

“Older people love a good romance as much as 20-somethings, and many of us still get just as love-drunk as we did when we wore size 32 Levis with no Expanda-Waist,” says Charles W. Massie, a baby boomer who wrote about his online dating experience in a new novel, “Stains on the Gavel” (www.starshowpublications.com).

“But you’ve really got to be careful, whether you’re a woman or a man. A lot of women my age complain the men they meet haven’t changed at all in 50 years – they want to skip the coffee and head straight for the bedroom. My experience was even worse!”
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Learning to Live Again After Losing Your Life Partner

After the sudden death of her husband of 33 years, Cherie Metcalf was brought the darkest place in her life. Questions of “why?”, “how can I go on?” and “when will it stop hurting?” persisted to roam Cherie’s heartbroken thoughts.

Event the simplest things of making dinner for one and attending church alone became almost impossible to continue without the support from her soul mate.

She then realized she had to fight it all to move on for the sake of her children and grandchildren and the time had come to write the book her husband had always encouraged her to write, “Blue Heart.”

With the help of this book, readers who are experiencing the loss of a loved one and those who are looking to rediscover the purpose in their lives, will become empowered to take control and rise above their pain.

Longest Married Couple to Mark 81st Anniversary

John and Ann Betar eloped on Nov. 25, 1932, fleeing their close-knit Syrian neighborhood in Bridgeport, Connecticut, and driving as fast as they could to Harrison, New York, to avoid Ann’s father’s plans to marry her off to a man 20 years older.

Now, as their 81st wedding anniversary approaches on Monday, the couple, named on Valentine’s Day by Worldwide Marriage Encounter as 2013’s “longest married couple” in America, can only laugh as they look back on the commotion they caused.

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9 Ways High Achievers Can Realize Optimum Life Balance

Life’s true tragedy is that, when someone dies, the misfortune is not only the death itself but also the untapped potential and unrealized dreams that die with them. “This ‘compounded loss’ happens more often than not,” says Sheri Riley, founder and Chief Partnership Strategist of GLUE, Inc. and creator of the Exponential Living program (www.exponentialliving.com).  “Far too many of us spend 100% of our time on only 10% of who we are today, and can be tomorrow.

“According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, many of us work eight hours per day, commute for at least one hour per day, spend at least two hours eating, watch TV for five hours each day and spend nearly two hours a day using a computer for leisure activity, such as online games, research or social media,” Riley notes. “That’s nearly 18 hours, which doesn’t even include the multiple hours needed for our evening slumber. Clearly, we spend more time on what wearen’t than we do on who and what we are…and want to be.”

For high achievers in particular, there isn’t a problem understanding HOW to get things done but rather there are challenges balancing it all.  So many successful people spend the majority of their time on one area of their life where they excel, but perpetually feel unfulfilled.

With this in mind, Riley offers these 9 methods to help high achievers tap into the other 90% of “who they are,” beyond “what they do,” and realize greater life balance, joy and fulfillment in kind:

Method 1: Healthy Living is about More Than Diet!

There is more to life than the race to achieve more money or a fancy job title.  And, there is more to living healthfully than what food you ingest or what physical exercises you do.  Other lifestyle decisions, such as those related to marriage, parenting, and friendships, all factor into one’s healthy sense of self.   Healthy living requires being true to yourself and being truly “present” when you’re with loved ones.  Healthy living is also a frame of mind. If your thoughts are self-destructive, this negativity will manifest itself in your body through stress, anxiety and other adverse physical conditions, and can undermine your personal and professional relationships with others.

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You’ll Be Amazed How Just A Song Could Break Through To This Woman With Alzheimer’s

Gray Divorce Drastically Cuts Retirement Savings By Thousands

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The Magic Formula for Staying Healthy and Energizing Your Life

By Dr. Gayle Carson

There is NO magic formula for staying healthy. But there is a magic formula to health and energy. And the first part of that formula is the burning desire to be fit!

You can’t kid yourself into eating right or getting your body moving. It is a total commitment. And guess what the big payoff is—-YOU!

So let’s begin and see how you measure up.

PREVENTION: You won’t get where you want to go if you don’t monitor your health care. Be sure you take every preventive screening you can. It is easier to prevent something at the beginning than after it has spread.

MONITOR YOUR BODY CLOCK: Everyone has a different pace. Some are up all night, falling asleep only when the dawn breaks. Others are out like a light by 9 p.m. and are awake, moving and doing by 6 a.m. The only thing that makes it right or wrong is what works for you, and if there are any obligations you have to meet at certain hours. Remember to do your worst tasks at your best time and your best tasks at your worst time.

LIVE A STRUCTURE: Even though it might seem boring, the more you structure your day, the more you’ll get done, the easier it will become, and the less stress will result. The whole point of structure and planning is to include the things that are important to you. It gives you the time to eat right, get your exercise in, and do the deeds that are important to you. You begin to sail through each day, accomplishing more and more, and having the energy to do it.

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5 Keys to a Healthy Marriage

By Dr. Jacqueline Del Rosario, America’s Marriage Doctor

The statistics about marriage are enough to discourage anyone off from walking down the aisle. Studies have shown that nearly one-third of all marriages fail in the first five years and more than one-half end in divorce.  Marriages often collapse because couples are not prepared to go the distance and withstand the inevitable conflict that comes as the years go by.

Even those “honeymoon years” may seem more like “boot camp” after just a few months of trying to acclimate to each other’s personality differences and habits. The irritation and tensions that arise are inevitable as two independent lives try to merge into one. Yet, when couples do not understand this fact, they may start looking for the exit door, thinking that they have made a grievous mistake.

Finding common ground is easier when focusing on the fact that everyone really just wants to be happy. And, what better way to enjoy life to its fullest than to find a partner to share it with? Because of this shared value, the idea of marriage is still relevant and valuable today. Numerous published studies have concluded that a happy marriage is more likely to lead to enhanced physical and mental health.

But, too often, people enter the bond of marriage, hoping it somehow results in a harmonious alliance without realizing that they have the power to ensure the health and happiness of their relationship. That power lies in the quality of your communication with your partner. Below I have identified the 5 most important communication keys necessary to help a marriage not only survive, but thrive so that both partners can actualize their dreams of “happily ever after.

1.  Considering the benefits of arguments. Some believe that the ideal relationship is one that is argument-free. As a result, those who do start arguing may devalue the relationship by concluding that this is a sign that it was not meant to last. Not true! Many couples have been put off by their arguments and have ended their marriages. Why? It’s because they were not communicating. Even if communication at times means arguing, at least opinions and feelings are being shared.

More importantly, it is important to reshape your thoughts around arguments.  Conflict is a sign that the relationship is trying to evolve. Arguments simply signify that we are now being brought into position for transition in a relationship. If anything, these verbal sparring matches are ways to address an impasse in the relationship so that a new phase of relational growth can occur. Friction starts and arguments tend to follow a theme. When the argument circles on the same issues time and time again, each person can make a conscious decision to undertake changes to help the relationship move beyond this impasse. However, this can only happen if both parties understand and appreciate the reason for all this seeming adversity and friction. When couples do not understand the role of conflict in the relationship, a negative thought process causes them to doubt the security of the relationship and thoughts of jumping ship prevail.

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‘Broken heart’ syndrome can be triggered by stress, grief

Broken heart syndrome, is not like a heart attack. A lot of people suffer the syndrome after extreme fear, stress or sorrow. It is most often experienced by women.

Visit NBCNews.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

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Parenting Your Aging Parents

© Copyright 2012 by Robert Moskowitz

Dear Robert:

My father is in his mid 70s, and generally healthy. But he has been taking several prescription drugs for more than a year. Last month, he began feeling unusually fatigued and mentally confused. He’s weaker and more depressed than he has been, too.

My father has always been an independent person, and these conditions are very upsetting to him. They also make my life more difficult, as I must now visit more often to check on him. I also worry more about him even when I’m not visiting.

Is this just the common downward progression due to aging, or is there something we can do to get him back to normal?

Signed, New Problems With Dad

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Parenting Your Aging Parents: June Column

© Copyright 2012 by Robert Moskowitz

Dear Robert:

My favorite Aunt is suffering with Alzheimer’s. She hardly knows me anymore when I go to visit her, and it’s the same story with my cousins, her own children.

She’s still living at home, but her husband is not in very good shape to take care of her, and I’m afraid she could suffer some kind an accident in the house, or maybe cause one. She might even start wandering and get lost outside, or somehow come to harm some other way.

Her children (my cousins) aren’t sure she’s ready for a nursing home. Can you tell us how you decide when someone like my Aunt should move to a nursing home? If she’s a good candidate for this kind of a move, how should we introduce it to her?

Signed, Wavering But Worried

Dear Wavering:

I’m sorry that your Aunt is suffering this way. Alzheimer’s (may I assume your Aunt has been diagnosed with this disease by a competent physician?) takes people away from their families in a very emotional and heart-wrenching way. Sometimes it can feel worse than death. And of course, there is the potential for all the problems you mentioned in your letter, and more.

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Parenting Your Aging Parents

© Copyright 2012 by Robert Moskowitz

Dear Robert:

I really don’t have anything to complain about. My husband and I have been helping my parents handle their finances and make other adjustments to their lives for the past five years or so. It has been working out very well for the whole family. But there is one problem. Since my father died a year ago, my mother has withdrawn from everyone and doesn’t seem to enjoy anything anymore. We’ve tried bringing her to our kids’ birthday parties and we’ve even offered to send her on a cruise. But she has no appetite for anything. What should we do?

Signed,  Child of Depression

Dear Child of Depression:

What’s unusual about a woman mourning her husband of – what? 30 or 40 years – for a year or even two after his death? Would you prefer that she shrug it off? Your mother is showing the classic symptoms of depression. That’s actually healthy after the death of a spouse, even if it’s not a comfortable experience right now. There are two main things for you and your husband to do, going forward:

First, make sure your mother’s depression isn’t due to some other cause, like an unexpected interaction between medicines and/or over-the-counter drugs she is taking, or the onset of significant mental changes. For this, encourage her to be evaluated by a geriatrician. If she doesn’t already have a relationship with a specialist she trusts, this is a perfect time to start looking for a knowledgeable and compassionate doctor.

Second, keep offering the kind of support and social opportunities you appear to have been offering all along. Even though your mother has had no appetite for life during the past year, her appetite will eventually return. When it does, it will be helpful for you to be holding out a plateful of possibilities.

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Parenting Your Aging Parents

© Copyright 2012 by Robert Moskowitz

Dear Robert:

My father always prided himself on being one of the smartest in the family. He kept strictly up‑to‑date on politics, economics, everything. But in the last few months, he’s lost interest in the daily news, and some of his comments and advice are downright fuzzy‑headed!

Does this mean he’s getting Alzheimer’s Disease. If so, can we stop it from destroying his intelligence?

Signed, Optimistic in Ohio

Dear Optimistic:

You have every reason for optimism. Only about one percent of those over 65 actually have Alzheimer’s Disease. However, “Alzheimer’s” has become a convenient catchword to describe every type of senility and memory loss, despite vast differences too important to ignore.

Alzheimer’s Disease produces characteristic tangles of fibers and degenerated nerve endings, particularly in areas of the brain responsible for memory and “intellectual” processes. But the same kind of memory loss and mental deterioration can also be caused by small strokes, imbalances in body chemistry, clinical depression, thyroid problems, poor nutrition, brain tumors, head injuries or alcoholism, or even by easily remedied problems such as stress, fatigue, illness, distraction, or side‑effects of medication.

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Empty Nest, the Gift and the Curse

Melissa hugged her daughter at the college dorm, got in the rental car, and wept all the way to the airport. The tears surprised her.

When you go through even an expected change, the reality settles in your heart when you wave goodbye.

Parents know the relationship they had will be different.  They aren’t sure what their role will be and that is unsettling.

For a while you might not have been the go to person or the number one with your children . They might have been your number one, which doesn’t imply you didn’t have “a life.”

No guilt or judgment about your relationship.  You did the best you could at the time.  Truth is, most parents would drop what they were doing if their child needed them no matter what age or stage.

Grieving the role you lived as parent is unique, based on your relationship with yourself and your child.  All parents feel the shift of this milestone.  Comparing yourself to how your friends or others are doing in this transition of life doesn’t honor who you are right now.

There  are many moments you are relieved at not addressing your child’s needs or schedule, but that has nothing to do with love, deep love.

When you love someone and can’t have time with them, you miss them.

Empty nest is a time of honoring all you gave. Reminiscing what you love about parenting and what you won’t miss.

You could write a letter to yourself , “ I appreciate the way I…   I honestly won’t miss the way I had to….” You will find your words.  Fifteen minutes of writing is healing.

Feelings are vulnerable and can be unavailable. Thoughts come more naturally, spinning us with pictures we make in our head, or leaping ahead to the “what ifs”…  Comfort comes in a smorgasbord. Get to know yourself day by day. Leave the judgment.  With every thought and feeling there is a gift and curse while walking changes.  Maybe you can practice holding both,” the gift of my spinning with thoughts is… the curse of it is….”  Empty nest gives permission to know yourself in new ways. Your two constant friends are compassion and curiosity.

Even if you have gone through this before, when the last child leaves, you weep.
Career, married, single, all weep when the house emptiness of your child and their friends.
Community is lost.
School days are over.
You long for new meaning and connections.
You want your child to call.

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