By Larry J. Bradley
I know I’m not the most politically correct person and I could have called this “Beat the Recession By Managing Yourself and Get Everything You Want Along the Way”. With that said, I apologize for using the words fat and dead in my title. I’m not a doctor but you must agree that there is a relationship between those two words. Obesity is epidemic in our country even among young children. Many people spend their lives fully engaged in the battle of the bulge while digging their own graves with their teeth. Billions of dollars are spent every year on solving this problem. As American’s wallets shrink, their girth continues to expand. Have you every heard someone say, “I am going back to XYZ diet program because it really worked for me?” Well, hello! If it really worked, you wouldn’t be going back to it. Billions spent are on solutions that are focused on circumstances or conditions outside of the individual.
Enter Sam, or as we will come to know her as “7”. She is my client who presented with serious weight problems which in her words were “destroying my life”. I asked Sam to think about the significant goals she had for her life – in every area including: health and fitness, wealth, relationships, spiritual and professional. She really thought about it and said she could identify as least a couple of goals in each of these areas. I asked her another question, “What one single goal, if you were to achieve it, would most positively impact your life and every other goal?” (This process is called chunking whereby you mentally chunk up to a single goal which when accomplished most positively impacts your life.)
After some reflective thought Sam said, “I believe that would be my weight and fitness goal”. I asked, “What is that goal?” She replied. “To be totally physically fit”. Together we explored how the accomplishment of that one goal would affect the balance of her life. We agreed that she would achieve greater health, look and feel wonderful and have higher energy allowing her to achieve much more with great self-esteem. As a reward for her accomplishments Sam said she would go on a shopping spree to completely replace her wardrobe.
During our time together, I asked how she would know when she was physically fit? She responded, “Through my cloths. They talk to me”. I agreed and asked her to explain. She said she has a favorite pair of jeans and a blouse she loves to wear but when she does they look and feel uncomfortable. I asked her what would her ideal dress size be that would tell her she was physically fit. She immediately said, “Size 7”. I told Sam that her cloths are actually talking to her in a way that I’m sure she didn’t realize. I explained that if she was like most people she had several sets of clothing in her closet, skinny cloths, medium cloths and fat cloths. Every single day, several times a day, when she walks into her closet the fat cloths are hanging there talking to her at an unconscious level screaming, “We know you’ll be back! We’ll be here waiting for you”. That message is sent to Sam’s subconscious every time she walks into her closet. We wonder why we just can’t lose the weight.
We developed a plan, a combination of Self-Talk and Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP). I told Sam to focus primarily on the one goal because it has multiple rewards and will arrest the balance of her goals. Using a very simple visualization technique, whereby, in a very relaxed state, Sam would think of all of the positive outcomes of being totally fit. She visualized herself wearing a size 7. She would see herself shopping, trying on and looking fabulous in her new cloths and most importantly the new bikini. She would see herself with the man of her dreams, filled with incredible energy, getting things done that she only dreamed of with extreme ease – all the while repeating to herself and seeing in her mind’s eye the number 7. She would see herself in spiritual balance. In her professional sales position with a national real estate company, she would be shattering records. Her doctor would describe incredible test results, telling her how fit and healthy she is. People would begin to notice how great she looked and tell her how incredibly proud they are of her. Sam’s self esteem sky-rockets all the while thinking and seeing the number 7. I told her to practice this brief visualization exercise as often as she could but at least twice a day especially before going to bed.
In terms of her thought process and self-talk, I coached her to reframe everything she wants in her life in terms of what she wants (desired outcome) and not what she doesn’t want (undesirable outcome). In other words, only speak and think in terms of already possessing the desired outcomes. Finally, to put it all together, I told her that the number 7 is her trigger anchor. Every time she thinks about her fitness goal, she should repeat the phrase, “I am a size 7”.
With some trepidation, I asked Sam what size she currently wore. She said that she once was a size 16 but currently a 14. I instructed her to go home, take her every piece of clothing larger than a 14 and give them away. As she begins to lose weight and drops to a size 12, give away all of the size 14 cloths. She is to continue to do this until she becomes a size 7. By the way, whenever I address Sam now either in person, via email, text or voice mail, her new name is “7”.
These exercises are powerful. I urge you to do them yourself and by all means – throw away your fat cloths!
Larry J. Bradley is an author, speaker, personal and professional coach and consultant. He is a business turnaround specialist, certified Self-Talk trainer, NLP practitioner and coach, as well as a hypnosis and time-line therapy practitioner. His areas of expertise including parenting, personal success and management, persuasion, influence and sales. He can be reached at LarryBradley11@gmail.com or 856-535-7500..
